Topic: Q4 - Your courage to complete Step Four doesn't come from the absence of fear but your willingness to walk through it. Ponder and discuss the recovery saying: “F-E-A-R stands for Face Everything And Recover.” Put this affirmation in your Recovery Toolbox.

Topic: Q5 - On page 41 re-read the two paragraphs starting with “Moral inventory of ourselves....” Are you willing to look at your past behaviors without being critical of yourself? or harsh? or abusive? Is it okay for the uncomfortable feelings you have been avoiding for so long to come up to the surface now to be healed? What is your Step Four focus? What is your direction? Discuss why this inventory must be only of yourself. Read the section on page 122-123 “What is the difference between blame and accountability?” Think about being a “rescuer.” What are the imagined benefits of rescuing? How does the rescuer eventually end up in the "Poor Me!" victim position? Discuss the recovery saying, “There are no victims, only volunteers.” o What does a victim get out of being a victim? What does a victim believe to be true? What does a victim sound like? What do they say? How do they act? How is a martyr the same as a victim? Why is it a maze of their own creation? o What does a perpetrator believe? What does a perpetrator sound like? What do they say? How do they speak? How do they act? How is a perpetrator the same as a victim? What does a perpetrator get out of criticizing or attacking the victim? o What does a rescuer believe to be true? What does a rescuer get out of rescuing? What do they assume? How do they speak? How do they act? How is a rescuer setting themselves up to be the victim? Have you ever found yourself flipping around all three corners of the triangle?

Topic: Q6 - Read the two sections on pages 118-119, “What is a shame spiral?” and "What is fear of shame?" What seven action steps do you need to take to counteract a shame spiral? Write about these steps in your journal. Put these in your Recovery Toolbox. Read the paragraph on page 49 beginning with "When we look...." Many of us learned shame messages about ourselves from our childhood. We believed lies. We confused “making a mistake” with “being a mistake.” These messages are categorically untrue. How will practicing accountability and responsibility minimize your codependency & feelings of shame? Write about this in your journal.