Topic: Q26 - Obtain and read the CoDA pamphlet "Communication & Recovery" from your CoDA literature person. Read & thoroughly discuss each paragraph. Straight-talking, asking for clarity, and practicing healthy communication skills are all part of a solid foundation for your recovery program. How does blaming, criticizing, and/or making demands undermine healthy & loving communication? Are you willing to negotiate in your relationships with others? Discuss. Write about this in your journal. Discuss the saying “Clarity is loving, and mixed messages are abusive.” Has anyone ever given you a vague or mixed message? How did that feel? What was the outcome? How would “clarity” have worked better in that situation? Write about this in your journal. Have you ever experienced unhealthy communication containing 1) silence or violence? 2) blaming or not taking responsibility? 3) criticizing? 4) demands or threats? Why do these cause communication to suffer? Discuss the benefits of using compassionate communication. o Making observations instead of judging, o Expressing feelings knowing they are caused by your needs o Making requests to get your needs met instead of making demands o Negotiating win / win (or no deal) strategies

Topic: Q27 - Loving Ourselves Unconditionally & The Grieving Process: Discuss the affirmation “The pain that I might feel by remembering cannot be any worse than the pain I feel by knowing and not remembering.” In the safety of recovery, we become willing to heal by compassionately acknowledging our original painful experiences and setting intentions for healthy experiences in our future; to let the iced up, frozen feelings from our past melt away so that eventually only love and peace remains within us. This may be a sporadic or ongoing process. However, it is only possible to do this deeply if you truly love yourself unconditionally. Discuss the principle of unconditional love. Write about this in your journal. Are you willing to love yourself unconditionally?

Topic: Q28 - When we accept our true feelings about the past and grieve the loss of what did and did not happen, it loses its power over us. We learn to accept our past just as it happened. To “accept” does not mean we have to like it. When we accept what happened and see how we responded, we gain clarity. Sometimes the "death of a dream" is more painful than grieving what actually happened. Are you willing to grieve?