Topic: Q30 - Read the last three paragraphs of Step Four on page 49 beginning with "When we look...". Focus on the last paragraph. What is the definition of the word “humility?” It is a guiding spiritual principle of our recovery. How is humility: o The opposite of judging & criticizing? o The opposite of better than & less than roles? o The opposite of rightness & wrongness attitudes? o The opposite of blame & shame? o The opposite of control & manipulation & making demands? How does humility relate to equality? Write about this in your journal. Discuss.

Topic: Q31 - Making the list: Take blank paper and make five columns across the top of each page: o Name/Relationship o My Codependent Patterns (Pgs. 4-7) o My Actions & Behaviors (Refer to The List on Page 44) o My Underlying Feelings (i.e.: Sad, Angry, Frightened, Fear of Not Being Good Enough, Shame, Guilty, Defiant, Arrogant, Etc.) o Consequences To the Relationship. Make Page #1 for your Higher Power and Page #2 for Self. Also make pages for your partner/mate, exes, children, friends, family members, co-workers, and people with whom you participate in your various activities. How many people are on your list? Leave lots of space to write. Also, is there any other person (present or past) with whom you would feel uncomfortable if they came into the room? Add them to your list also. Just create the empty matrix right now. There will be plenty of time to fill in the other columns and rows.

Topic: Q32 - Taking the inventory: You can do this! Take it slow and easy. We are going to take one pattern at a time. [Suggestion: Begin each session with a prayer inviting your Higher Power to look at this with you. Remember your relationship history with this person. Ask yourself questions about your behaviors with each person on your list. Set your timer and spend only 10- 15 minutes at a time, no more than three times a day.]