The Friday Four

Meeting Schedule

All upcoming and past meetings for The Friday Four

Cody

Topic: Question 12 - Read the section “What is the difference between being codependent and being thoughtful?” on page 122. Read the section on pages 110-114 “What are boundaries?”
Icebreaker: Tell us about one moment you felt peace in the past week

Lindsey

Topic: Question 13 - Read Chapter Two pages 20-24. Discuss building your own concept of a Higher Power. Where have you put your misplaced faith in the past? Discuss surrender and letting go of your controlling and avoidance behaviors. Read the sections on pages 114-116: "What is enmeshment?", "What is detachment?", and "What is the difference between detachment and avoidance?". How can feelings be resolved? How can you emotionally detach from those on whom you compulsively rely? Read the section on page 101 “Do I have to believe in God to recover?”
Icebreaker: Share one thing you're grateful for in your recovery journey right now

Melanie

Topic: Question 14 - Read Step Two pages 33-37. Are you willing to entertain the possibility that there is a power that can do for you what you could not do for yourself? Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results. Continuing to act in a self-destructive manner is insane, but nothing changes until you turn away from your addictions and from the people with whom you’re obsessed. Discuss and reflect upon the concept of insanity as it applies to you in CoDA.
Icebreaker: What's one small act of self-care you practised since we last met?

Avery

Topic: Question 15 - Re-read Step Two page 33-37. Make a list of attributes of a Higher Power with whom you would like to have a relationship. What do you really want from your God?
Icebreaker: Tell us about a feeling you allowed yourself to fully experience rather than push away

Cody

Topic: Question 16 - Re-read Step Two pages 36-37, beginning with “We remember…”. Write what is meant when it says “We begin placing this relationship first.” Discuss the statement “your Higher Power does not accomplish your recovery work for you; you must do your share.” What is your part? What needs to be done to develop and strengthen your relationship with your Higher Power?
Icebreaker: Share a boundary you honored recently, no matter how small

Lindsey

Topic: Question 17 - Re-read Chapter Two pages 23-24 beginning with the second paragraph "To keep our relationship with our Higher Power in perspective..." Discuss perfectionism and why it is an illusion. To keep perspective, why is it important to prioritize your relationships? What relationship needs to come first? What relationship comes second? What relationships come third? Discuss the anticipated miracles of recovery.
Icebreaker: What's one way you connected with your Higher Power since our last meeting?

Melanie

Topic: Question 18 - Read Chapter Three introduction “A suggested program of recovery” on pages 25- 28. What does the program of Co-Dependents Anonymous consist of? Are you keeping track of your progress on My Daily CoDA Program Journal? Why will a half-hearted attempt to work the Steps leave you feeling self-defeated? “Your journey through the Steps may be the most difficult work you ever attempt.” Do you see working the Steps as an overwhelming task? What are the rewards of recovery? Are you willing to work the Steps daily as a part of your personal recovery? Discuss.
Icebreaker: What's one thing your inner child needed this week?

Avery

Topic: Question 19 - Re-read Step Two pages 33-37 and the section on page 102-103 “Why doesn't CoDA refer to God or our Higher Power as he or she?” Reflect upon your childhood exposure to any religious concepts. On one side of a two- column balance sheet list your negative feelings and on the other side your positive feelings as they relate to early religious experience. What conclusion do you reach when you reflect on the balance sheet?
Icebreaker: Share something you're proud of that has nothing to do with helping someone else

Cody

Topic: Question 20 - Read Step Three pages 37-41. Create another balance sheet. On one side, list all the reasons that you can believe in God. On the other side, list all your reasons for disbelief.
Icebreaker: Tell us about a moment when you chose yourself this week

Lindsey

Topic: Question 21 - Re-read Step Three pages 37-41. Why not give God a chance where you have failed? What do you have to lose but your misery? Discuss why this program is not a “flash in the pan.” Are you willing to ask God for help more than once?
Icebreaker: Share something you're hoping will be different 6 months from now

Melanie

Topic: Question 22 - Read the section “How do I learn to trust?” on page 123. Did you learn early not to trust? Have you been overly trusting? What is appropriate trust? Why is it important to learn to be able to trust ourselves and our Higher Power first?
Icebreaker: Describe a moment this week when you felt truly heard and understood.

Avery

Topic: Question 23 - Discuss the idea of calling a “HALT” when your life gets unmanageable. Taking good care of yourself is your responsibility. HALT reminds you to not allow yourself to get too H = hungry, A = angry, L = lonely, or T = tired.
Icebreaker: What's one healthy habit you've started or want to start incorporating into your routine?

Cody

Topic: Question 24 - Read the section “What is the purpose of prayer and meditation?” on page 102. Discuss. Get a box or container that is precious to you. Put it in a special place and dedicate it as your “God Box.” In addition to prayer and meditation, the God box is a physical symbol for taking Step Three. You will use the God box when you get to Question 29.
Icebreaker: Share a challenge you faced in setting a boundary and how you handled it.

Lindsey

Topic: Question 25 - Read the section “Do I have to forgive those who hurt me?” on pages 123-124. Discuss why blaming anyone is actually hurtful to yourself, while forgiving too early can only be a temporary fix. Therefore, what needs to be done before forgiveness can give you a lasting release from blaming? What are the benefits of forgiveness?
Icebreaker: Tell us about a book, podcast, or resource that has inspired you recently.

Melanie

Topic: Question 26 - Re-read Step Three pages 37-41. Are you willing to decide to trust God to care for all you consider precious and important? Are you willing to rely on your Higher Power to provide you with peace, happiness, and well-being? What energy will now be available when others are no longer responsible for your happiness & well-being? Are you frightened to allow God to take care of you and the other people in your life? What are the crossroads where you are standing?
Icebreaker: What’s one thing you did this week that brought you joy?

Avery

Topic: Question 27 - Re-read Step Three pages 39-41. Create a special place and time to sincerely complete this Step. When you are ready, this prayer may be helpful: “God, I give to You all that I am and all that I will be for Your healing and direction. Make new this day as I release all my worries and fears to You knowing that You are by my side. Please help me to open myself to Your love, to allow Your love to heal my wounds, and allow Your love to flow through me and from me to those around me. May Your will be done this day and always. Amen.” Make a sincere commitment to your Higher Power to turn your will and all your life over to God’s care. (You may complete this with your sponsor or by yourself. Deep intention is the key to this Step.)
Icebreaker: Reflect on a time when you practiced saying "no" without feeling guilty.

Cody

Topic: Question 28 - Re-read Step Three on pages 39-41 starting at the second paragraph “We remember…” Every morning when you awake, renew your decision to turn your will and your life over to the care of God as you understand God. (You may wish to repeat the Third Step Prayer every day.) Make a commitment to actively strengthen your relationship with your God. It is your most important relationship. Trust in your Higher Power’s help. Ask God for help and guidance. Do your part. Strive for a life of balance. Look for strength and serenity as you grow in trust of God’s continuing presence and care. Discuss these ideas.
Icebreaker: Share a strategy you use to stay present and mindful during stressful moments.

Lindsey

Topic: Question 29 - Discuss the saying, “Let Go, and Let God.” Is there any person, place, or situation with which you are upset or obsessing today? Each time you are uncomfortable and recognize a lack of peace inside, remember to work Steps One, Two, and Three. Decide to turn the situation over to the care of your loving Higher Power. Say to yourself, “I am powerless over this person….” Write about the situation. What are you feeling? What are you needing? What is their part? What is your part? Prayerfully surrender the outcome to your Higher Power and put it all in your "God Box".
Icebreaker: What’s one positive affirmation or mantra that helps you stay motivated in your recovery?

Melanie

Topic: Question 30 - Reflect on your own personal surrender. Discuss and share at meetings your experience, strength, and hope from doing these Steps. Celebrate that you have come this far! Are you willing to commit to begin Step Four? From now on, while you keep progressing with Steps Four through Nine, practice Steps One, Two, and Three every day. Furthermore, practice Steps Ten, Eleven, and Twelve to the best of your ability. (Suggestion: you may wish to take personal inventory by comparing your behaviors each day to the “Recovery Patterns of Codependence” on www.coda.org )
Icebreaker: Describe a relationship in your life that supports your personal growth and well-being.

Avery

Topic:
Icebreaker: Tell us about one moment you felt peace in the past week

Cody

Topic:
Icebreaker: Share one thing you're grateful for in your recovery journey right now

Lindsey

Topic:
Icebreaker: What's one small act of self-care you practised since we last met?

Melanie

Topic:
Icebreaker: Tell us about a feeling you allowed yourself to fully experience rather than push away

Avery

Topic:
Icebreaker: Share a boundary you honored recently, no matter how small

Cody

Topic:
Icebreaker: What's one way you connected with your Higher Power since our last meeting?

Lindsey

Topic:
Icebreaker: What's one thing your inner child needed this week?

Melanie

Topic:
Icebreaker: Share something you're proud of that has nothing to do with helping someone else

Avery

Topic:
Icebreaker: Tell us about a moment when you chose yourself this week

Cody

Topic:
Icebreaker: Share something you're hoping will be different 6 months from now

Lindsey

Topic:
Icebreaker: Describe a moment this week when you felt truly heard and understood.

Melanie

Topic:
Icebreaker: What's one healthy habit you've started or want to start incorporating into your routine?

Avery

Topic:
Icebreaker: Share a challenge you faced in setting a boundary and how you handled it.

Cody

Topic:
Icebreaker: Tell us about a book, podcast, or resource that has inspired you recently.

Lindsey

Topic:
Icebreaker: What’s one thing you did this week that brought you joy?

Melanie

Topic:
Icebreaker: Reflect on a time when you practiced saying "no" without feeling guilty.

Avery

Topic:
Icebreaker: Share a strategy you use to stay present and mindful during stressful moments.

Cody

Topic:
Icebreaker: What’s one positive affirmation or mantra that helps you stay motivated in your recovery?

Lindsey

Topic:
Icebreaker: Describe a relationship in your life that supports your personal growth and well-being.

Melanie

Topic:
Icebreaker: Tell us about one moment you felt peace in the past week

Avery

Topic:
Icebreaker: Share one thing you're grateful for in your recovery journey right now

Cody

Topic:
Icebreaker: What's one small act of self-care you practised since we last met?

Lindsey

Topic:
Icebreaker: Tell us about a feeling you allowed yourself to fully experience rather than push away

Cody

Topic:
Icebreaker: Share a boundary you honored recently, no matter how small

Lindsey

Topic:
Icebreaker: What's one way you connected with your Higher Power since our last meeting?

Melanie

Topic:
Icebreaker: What's one thing your inner child needed this week?

Avery

Topic:
Icebreaker: Share something you're proud of that has nothing to do with helping someone else

Cody

Topic:
Icebreaker: Tell us about a moment when you chose yourself this week

Lindsey

Topic:
Icebreaker: Share something you're hoping will be different 6 months from now

Melanie

Topic:
Icebreaker: Describe a moment this week when you felt truly heard and understood.

Avery

Topic:
Icebreaker: What's one healthy habit you've started or want to start incorporating into your routine?

Cody

Topic:
Icebreaker: Share a challenge you faced in setting a boundary and how you handled it.

Lindsey

Topic:
Icebreaker: Tell us about a book, podcast, or resource that has inspired you recently.

Melanie

Topic:
Icebreaker: What’s one thing you did this week that brought you joy?

Avery

Topic:
Icebreaker: Reflect on a time when you practiced saying "no" without feeling guilty.

Cody

Topic:
Icebreaker: Share a strategy you use to stay present and mindful during stressful moments.

Lindsey

Topic:
Icebreaker: What’s one positive affirmation or mantra that helps you stay motivated in your recovery?

Melanie

Topic:
Icebreaker: Describe a relationship in your life that supports your personal growth and well-being.