Topic: Q24 - Study the list of codependent behaviors on page 44. Describe what each behavior could look like within physical, emotional, intellectual, spiritual, & sexual boundaries. Let’s take lying for example: o Lying physically might be hiding my actions from others. o Lying emotionally may be telling myself or others “I’m FINE,” when I’m not. o Lying intellectually may be expressing a lie overtly or covertly to manipulate the flow of information or avoiding a confrontation. o Lying spiritually may be believing “I’m not enough” or believing “I’m a mistake.” o Lying sexually may be saying “yes” when I really want to say “no.” Now explore your own meanings to all the words on this list. Did you think of any additional unhealthy behaviors? Jealousy? Bullying? This can be a spoken or written exercise. Take your time. Share your feelings & insights about this exercise with your sponsor or co-sponsor.

Topic: Q25 - Read the three sections on pages 114-116. “What is enmeshment?” “What is detachment?” and “What is the difference between detachment and avoidance?” What insights came up for you? How do healthy boundaries apply to these topics? Discuss.

Topic: Q26 - Obtain and read the CoDA pamphlet "Communication & Recovery" from your CoDA literature person. Read & thoroughly discuss each paragraph. Straight-talking, asking for clarity, and practicing healthy communication skills are all part of a solid foundation for your recovery program. How does blaming, criticizing, and/or making demands undermine healthy & loving communication? Are you willing to negotiate in your relationships with others? Discuss. Write about this in your journal. Discuss the saying “Clarity is loving, and mixed messages are abusive.” Has anyone ever given you a vague or mixed message? How did that feel? What was the outcome? How would “clarity” have worked better in that situation? Write about this in your journal. Have you ever experienced unhealthy communication containing 1) silence or violence? 2) blaming or not taking responsibility? 3) criticizing? 4) demands or threats? Why do these cause communication to suffer? Discuss the benefits of using compassionate communication. o Making observations instead of judging, o Expressing feelings knowing they are caused by your needs o Making requests to get your needs met instead of making demands o Negotiating win / win (or no deal) strategies